mashed up brain

Well I absolutely don't get it anymore and seem to be having a severe identity crisis. Those of you who know me well will realise how severe this is when I say that yesterday evening I wandered the Schöneberg streets smoking! Ah ha what is a happening to the purple mafling? She is turning into a Bohemian wild thing and knows not how to continue with this strange place and language. Since the lovely Shark went I have been struggling on a new language course where I only understand a few words of what is said all day and sit at the bottom of the class. Not good for the soul but I WILL continue even if I become a twittering, smoking, alcoholic. I absolutely don't get this language and don't even really want to.........this I fear might become a problem.
Anyway, I was in London at the weekend for M's 40th birthday, at the back of The Half Moon with it's sticky floor, broken toilets and terrible lighting. We danced til dawn to all the music I have ever listened to in my life since I was 13. It was wonderful.The highlight of the evening was M on the stage giving his all to Underworld's Born Slippy ( My choice of track for the evening).
Conclusion: I miss Herne Hill. I miss London. I miss friends and I now want to go home.......any advice??